Bucket List: Check 1

It's been a while since I've written anything, and I kept telling Caroline (who persistently reminds me I'm behind on my writing) that there was nothing interesting to write about, but lo and behold tonight that all changed.

What started out as a leisurely walk in Ethridge- which was pretty exciting in itself to me- ended up being one of the most exciting nights of my summer... I got to ride in an Amish Buggy!!

Imagine: You've spent your whole life seeing these buggies everywhere wondering what it might be like to ride in one, and once you're older you finally consent to the fact that you will probably never know. Well just try to conjure up the excitement of getting to finally ride in one, and see what it's like to be in their shoes for a few minutes.

Caroline and I were at her uncle's house feeding the dogs with her Nana, and then were about to start walking when her Nana asked if we wanted to walk down to Enus's house (he's the Amish man) because she had to ask him a question, and of course you can't call because they don't have phones! So we started walking. It turned out to be further than we thought, and there was one scary dog on the way that we didn't want to pass by again; it was also starting to get dark. Once we got there her Nana talked to Enus for a little bit and then said, "Well... It's getting pretty dark. We don't really want to walk back home, and it was a little longer than I thought." To which he replied, "Well the horse and buggy are still out, the boys can hitch it up and I can take y'all home." I was jumping with joy inside. I was so excited I could hardly contain myself.

(Meanwhile the little Amish boys are checking out Caroline in her "bathing suit" aka her tanktop and shorts. They had probably never seen a naked lady up that close.

Anyways, so we climbed in the buggy and it was surprisingly comfortable and had a nice view. It went a lot faster and smoother than I would have thought. I even made Caroline turn and look out the back just for fun. There was a nice breeze the whole way, and the seats were padded and covered with some fur, we're still not sure exactly where that came from, but we don't really want to know.

It just reinstated my dream to live in Ethridge and have my own buggy to take nice Sunday ride.

Ethridge, TN

I want to live where the green grass grows. There is something so rejuvenating even thinking about being in the country and riding in the car with the windows down and skinny dipping and just being free. Anyone who has never lived near the country won't understand this feeling, and I pity them. There is nothing more beautiful in the whole world than watching the sun set over an open field of wildflowers in the summer.

Waiting.

You can get so confused that you’ll start in to race down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space, headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.

The Waiting Place…for people just waiting.

Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or No or waiting for their hair to grow. Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite or waiting around for Friday night or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil, or a Better Break or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants or a wig with curls, or Another Chance. Everyone is just waiting.

 - Dr. Seuss; Oh! The Places You'll Go

This post is more as a sense of therapy than it is for your enjoyment, so if I were you I'd just skip over this one and just read the poem at the top. Lately for some reason I've had the mean reds. If you don't know what those are then you need to watch "Breakfast at Tiffany's" immediately. I feel like everything around me is as fragile as a house of cards, and with a single sneeze or the blink of an eye everything could fall. I don't know why I feel this way, except past experiences that seemed a lot like this at first all led to the same thing-- nothing. It's hard not to be cautious when everything seems to be falling into place and so perfect. My favorite line is "Everything's going great but..." and then comes the killer. Part of this feeling is probably coming from beginning a new stage in my life and having no idea where I'll be at this time next year (mentally, physically, everything). Sure, I've got everything planned out now, but at the same time everything seems to be hanging on a thread. It's quite terrible feeling like you're in some sort of limbo phase. In one window- everything is perfect and dandy and you know you shouldn't even think about complaining but in the next window- you're scared. scared that if you're too naive or allow things to be too wonderful without being cautious then it's going to be even worse if everything does crash down. This leaves you with the option of trying to realize what the problem is and possibly sabotaging it all, or letting everything just float by and run its course without your input or questions. Whenever I feel this way I can go on a walk, and by the end I feel all better and refreshed. But right now it's raining. And I have lots of packing to do. And studying. And paper editing. I just want to get in bed and read my kindle. 

Hip Hop Happy Easter!

I love my life. That's really all I have to say right now. Not to make you jealous if you're not feeling the same, but I can't help smiling when I think about how awesome, although somewhat uncertain, my life is right now. Thirty page paper due? Possible first C ever in Ethics? Pssh. Who cares. (Actually I don't mean that. I'll absolutely die if I make a C). I'm graduating in two weeks, I have awesome friends, the best friend in the whole universe, a wonderful family, and the sweetest boyfriend in the world. Something about being home and spending a weekend with everyone you care about is so rejuvenating. The bonfire and sleepover we had Friday was much needed, and long overdue. It has been way too long since we crammed three girls into one bed to snuggle and gossip all night. And everyone knows my favorite place in the world is Ethridge (particularly Caroline's Nana's and Ethel Young's). I don't think anything could rain on my little parade right now.

              

i carry your heart, etc.

e e cummings is by far my favorite poet. if you've never sat down and read a book of his poems cover to cover then your missing out. i don't care if you're not an avid poetry reader, doesn't matter. his words are comparable to a current that pulls you in and swirls you around and out further and further until you're completely lost in the poem (in a good way). some of his poetry can be difficult to read and understand the first time, but once you become acquired to his style then i promise that you'll get sucked in, too. i couldn't choose just one, so these are my two favorite poems. although some of his poetry can be pretty provocative (but undeniably true) i think these poems are some of the most romantic works i have ever read. they're simple, yet beautiful. the language may be a bit flowery and it seems to be dripping with admiration, but sometimes i think we're all a bit sappy deep down. and, besides, who doesn't love a little romance in their lives? i know i do.

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart) 

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)

                                    i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant 
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

since feeling is first

since feeling is first
who pays any attention
to the syntax of things
will never wholly kiss you;
wholly to be a fool
while Spring is in the world
my blood approves,
and kisses are a far better fate
than wisdom
lady i swear by all flowers. Don’t cry
–the best gesture of my brain is less than
your eyelids’ flutter which says
we are for eachother: then
laugh, leaning back in my arms
for life’s not a paragraph
And death i think is no parenthesis

114 Years

What in the world would it be like to live during three different centuries? Walter Breuning, the world's oldest man until he passed away today, lived from 1897 till 2011. Most people who know me know that I have a soft spot for old people. Old people and stories. I could listen to people's stories about "the olden days" for hours. My great-aunt Ethel Young is my favorite story teller in the world. I sincerely hope that when I'm old a.) I can remember lots of good stories and b.) people will come visit me and just sit and listen to my wisdom (because I'm going to have lots of it) and funny anecdotes. When reading this article  I also learned that there is one person older than Walter, and her name is Besse and she was born 26 days before him. It is now my life goal to find and interview her. Some of the most interesting things in Walter's interview were not only his tips for living a long life, but also all of the things he had seen throughout his life time and how he felt about it. 
Some of my favorite tidbits: 

Here's the world's oldest man's secret to a long life:

•  Embrace change, even when the change slaps you in the face. ("Every change is good.")
•  Eat two meals a day ("That's all you need.")
• Work as long as you can ("That money's going to come in handy.")
•  Help others ("The more you do for others, the better shape you're in.")
• Then there's the hardest part. It's a lesson Breuning said he learned from his grandfather: Accept death. 

"We're going to die. Some people are scared of dying. Never be afraid to die. Because you're born to die," he said.

About George W. Bush: "He got us into war. We can't get out of war now," he said. "I voted for him. But that's about all. His father was a pretty good president, not too bad. The kid had too much power. He got himself wrapped up and that's it." 

Times are a changin': "I think every change that we've ever made, ever since I was a child – 100 years – every change has been good for the people," Breuning said. "My God, we used to have to write with pen and ink, you know, (for) everything. When the machines came, it just made life so much easier."

How precious is this? Breuning would spent his days in an armchair outside the Bundtrock's office in a dark suit and tie, sitting near a framed Guinness certificate proclaiming him the world's oldest man. 

On war: "War never cured anything. Look at the North and South right today. They're still fighting over the damn war. They'll never get over that," he said. 

On life: "Everybody says your mind is the most important thing about your body. Your mind and your body. You keep both busy, and by God you'll be here a long time," he said. 

On dieting: "How many people in this country say that they can't take the weight off?" he said. "I tell these people, I says, 'Get on a diet and stay on it. You'll find that you're in much better shape, feel good.'"

Walter, you lived a really long time. Longer than I think I want to live. But I wish I had gotten to sit with you by your Guinness certificate and hear all of your stories.

For your viewing pleasure

Ours "Balancer" from La Maison Démontable on Vimeo.

Corduroi - "All Ways" from mutuallymade on Vimeo.

MTV brasil from vjsuave on Vimeo.

Things I Love Today

• 81 degree weather
• Working out with Allie
• which consisted of a 6+mile bike ride and Zumba
• The History of Emily Montague... again. It's been a while since I picked it up and it's high time I finish.
• Lime flavored beer
• Bubblebaths
• Springtime scented candles
• Catching up with friends
• Contributing to classroom discussions
• Local Natives- Thanks to Christen's tweet
• Looking at art on ETSY
• The thunderstorm that's brewing
• Extreme Couponing and Sister Wives on TLC- talk about guilty pleasures
• My Kindle (duh)
• Sufjan Stevens coming on Pandora and reminding me how much I love relaxing to his music. (that's a lot of -ing-ing.)

Things I hate today: 

• Going to the library and searching for a book my professor has already checked out
• That anxious feeling that accompanies graduating in a month
• How dirty my car is. It's screaming for a goo-goo car wash. And I would love to indulge it.
• Having serious withdrawals from Escar. Come back from camp already and call me!
• Being so far from Knoxville-- actually mostly having to go to Memphis so I can't go to Knoxville this weekend.

All in all today has rocked. And I'm totes digging this satisfied feeling I have right now. Thanks world. 

Dry Bones

No, I'm not talking about this little guy (Dry Bones from Mario)

I'm talking about literal dry bones. Dead people. Being void of breath (or spirit). Today in church the sermon was taken from Ezekiel 37:1-14 about the valley of dry bones, and how God commanded Ezekiel to preach to the dry bones so that they may become new and reassembled and understand the awesomeness of God. This got me thinking about how so many of us are just dry bones in our everyday life. Not necessarily just spiritually, but disconnected from our general surroundings. When it comes to my academics, I've definitely been a pair of dry bones this semester. Call it senioritis if you want, but let's get real and just admit it's laziness. Sure I do enough to get by and have worked hard the past four years, but forgetting more than three ethics quizzes in two months is a little excessive. I got so burnt out on studying for the LSAT and worrying about law school applications that I fooled myself into thinking that school was over and I needed to rest up before I begin the treacherous downfall of my social life called law school. But this is a fallacy. I have a feeling the day I graduate (and for ever and ever afterwards) I'll be kicking myself for not taking advantage of all of the learning I could have done in college. Everyone always says, "If I knew how to study in college like I do law school I would've made straight A's no doubt." And I'm sure this will be me, so why not start with the last semester while I still can and try to pick up the slack. I actually really enjoy school --nerd-- and from now on I'm going to step it up and get my act together.

I've also let this happen some what in my social life. I think it's just because we are all so busy with our own lives and planning our futures that we are forgetting to enjoy every single second of the present, and with one tiny month (barely) before graduation I want to make the most of my last few weeks at Auburn and make memories with my friends that I will never forget (while also keeping up with my academic resolution). I think part of it is the environment I have placed myself in. I need to get out more, go for long walks, and enjoy the little wonders of life on a daily basis. I'm not a lazy person. I'm not a dumb person. I think I was just a bunch of dry bones laying around waiting to be put back together.

-randomly and coincidentally now playing: 22 By Lily Allen I hope I can revive my dry bones so I don't turn into this girl.

Mark Twain's Top 9 Tips for Living a Ballin' Life

1. Approve of yourself.

“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”

2. Your limitations may just be in your mind.

“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”

3. Lighten up and have some fun.

“Humor is mankind’s greatest blessing.”

“Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.”

4. Let go of anger.

“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”

5. Release yourself from entitlement.

“Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”

6. If you’re taking a different path, prepare for reactions.

“A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.”

7. Keep your focus steadily on what you want.

“Drag your thoughts away from your troubles… by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.”

8. Don’t focus so much on making yourself feel good.

“The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.”

9. Do what you want to do.

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did so. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

Tis the Season

To give something up for Lent.

After much debate, I have decided (thanks to the suggestion of a very dear young man) to give up caffeine, particularly coffee. It is going to be absolutely terrible, and probably way harder than my previous sacrifices (such as soft drinks and iced tea), but I think I can do it. I may be a little grouchy at first, or even sluggish in class, but overall I think it will be good for me. After all, what's the point of giving up something you're really not too attached to? But I can say with fervor, that I am 100% attached to coffee.

Coffee leads men to trifle away their time, scald their chops, and spend their money, all for a little base, black, thick, nasty, bitter, stinking nauseous puddle water.  ~The Women's Petition Against Coffee, 1674

Maybe this quote will help motivate me... a little; however, I have a feeling coffee has changed a little since the 15th century.

Sometimes if you try, you might just find...

"It is better to light one small candle than to curse the darkness." - Eleanor Roosevelt

Sometimes things happen in our life that don't seem fair. We don't understand why it happened, and try to think back on things we could have done to prevented whatever it is that we are unhappy about. Rather than doing this, I am going to try to heed the above quotation and seek out the light in every situation that I might be bothered by. While I despise the saying "Everything happens for a reason," because I believe it allows some people to be lazy and just assume that anything that happens isn't because of a lack of motive or decision making, I am going to try and come to terms with displeasing incidents and try to make the best out of it, without giving up at the same time.

Don't Judge Me

If I could be anyone it would be Natalie Portman, or of course Audrey Hepburn. Last night when I couldn't sleep I found myself spending an insane, and unmentionable, amount of time stalking Natalie Portman on youtube. I know that's creepy, but at least I have friends - like Sam Lee Lam- to share my obsession. If you feel the same way then enjoy:

N'awlins Y'all

There are only two things: love, all sorts of love, with pretty girls, and the music of New Orleans or Duke Ellington. Everything else ought to go, because everything else is ugly.-Boris Vian

There is nothing I can say about my trip to NOLA (aka the US's very own version of Sodom and Gomorrah) that can't be summed up in these pictures. You can come to your own conclusions. 

Long time, no see.

So... obviously it has been quite a while since I have had the urge to sit and write something. Since Christmas I have:

Watched Auburn win a National Championship.

Prayed for Toomer's Trees.

Applied to law school.

Made new and wonderful friends.

Become more acquainted with the boombox than I had ever thought possible.

Gotten a pen pal.
Become a pro at booty ballet. 

Realized I'm a terrible tutor.

Watched more moves with Allie Moore on rainy days than ever in my life.

Traveled to Jackson, Mississippi.

And New Orleans.

And Knoxville, x2.

Fallen in love... with The Civil Wars!

Finished a 480+ page book that I can hardly take credit for.
Taken a ride on the Ethics "Experience Machine" with Courtney Brannan. Was I plugged in, or was it real?

January literally seemed to take months to go by, but February passed before I really even realized it had began. For a while I was in denial, but the downward spiral towards graduating from college commenced, and now I sporadically find myself close to tears just thinking about it. Just as February passed without so much as a goodbye, college seems to have been the same. I'm probably (normally) the least sentimental person ever, but right now I just want to cuddle up with all of my friends --yes. I just said cuddle-- and just make the most of the few months we have left to be irresponsible, crazy, and yet mature, old seniors at the same time. For someone that doesn't have class on Wednesday or Friday this has been a pretty tame semester, and I would like that to change before the opportunities to go out and not have major responsibilities weighing down on me becomes a distant memory. I know most of us feel stressed now, but we should just embrace the freedom we still have before the real world sets in, rather than worrying prematurely. I know I'm not one to talk on that, seeing that I just bought "Happy Camper" to calm my law school acceptance anxiety, but the more I write the clearer my head becomes. Now I know why I used to blog so much.- Thanks Escar for keeping me on top of my game.